As Dictated by the Most Exalted, Shadow-Scaled, and Modestly Superior Beings of the Night.
1. Thou Shalt Acknowledge Our Aesthetic Dominance
Black is not a color, it is the absence of color, just as other dragons are the absence of taste. We are the void that makes the rainbow beg for relevance.
2. Thou Shalt Bow to Our Intellectual Superiority
While red dragons hoard gold and blue dragons hoard opinions, we hoard secrets because knowledge is power, and we are very powerful (and also very good at forgetting where we left them).
3. Thou Shalt Admire Our Stealth
Other dragons announce their presence with fire, lightning, or obnoxious moralizing. We arrive uninvited, leave unnoticed, and take your lunch. You’re welcome.
4. Thou Shalt Respect Our Dietary Flexibility
Gold dragons eat “noble prey.” Silver dragons eat “ethical prey.” We eat whatever we want, including your self-respect. Bon appétit.
5. Thou Shalt Envy Our Real Estate
Caves? Too mainstream. We prefer abandoned citadels, haunted libraries, and the psychological space inside your head. Prime location, no commute.
6. Thou Shalt Accept Our Moral Ambiguity
“Evil”? Such a strong word. We prefer pragmatic. If the definition of “hero” is “someone who hasn’t met us yet,” then yes, we are flawless.
7. Thou Shalt Praise Our Voice
Our growls are deeper, our hisses are sassier, and our laughter echoes in your nightmares. Other dragons speak. We haunt.
8. Thou Shalt Covet Our Wardrobe
No gaudy gems, no tacky frills. Just sleek, timeless obsidian scales. We are the little black dress of dragonkind: appropriate for any apocalypse.
9. Thou Shalt Recognize Our Patience
Other dragons rage. We plot. While a red dragon is busy burning a village, we’re already three steps ahead, owning the village’s debt.
10. Thou Shalt Remember: We’re Just Joking (Mostly)
Deep down, we know all dragons are equal… but we are more equal. And if you disagree, we definitely didn’t hear you say that.