How did I get where I am now? Where do I come from? Why do I use the names “The Dyad Dragon”, “Zwartice” and “Soulular Duality”?
I have answers, and you will find them below. But to get there you first need to let me explain the intricate weavings of multiple lives and how I, this soul, came to be on this planet.
Awaken
Autumn 2005. A teenager in Western Europe wakes up one day with the innate need to be a dragon. Although always a lover of fantasy, this sudden interest in dragons in particular was odd, new and causing feelings not felt before. Nights were plagued by dreams that felt so real that it was difficult to focus on life here on Earth. In those dreams, a life was lived through the eyes of a small, white-blue dragon.
Every morning, the teenager woke up more tired, with more questions and the yearning pain of staying in that draconic body growing. Driven by this all, a search on the internet was started:
“I want to become a dragon.”
A simple sentence, but the amount of emotions and intend behind it were greater than anything they ever experienced in this life. Stumbling through the pages of the web, the word ‘Trans-species’ came up, and with it a glimmer of hope. The search continued and eventually ‘Dragonkin’ caught their eyes. Its definition caused tears streaming down their face as the hole in their heart got filled with the confirmation that they are not alone.
They reached out to the community, and it graciously accepted them, taking them in and surrounding them with friends and friendships that would continue to be there for the rest of their life on Earth. A small group decided to do physical meet-ups and they eagerly joined in, co-organizing the meets to make sure no Otherkin would feel the same loneliness they did. And as their social life as an Otherkin grew, the circle they had as a human shrunk. Slowly but certain their priorities in life shifted, focusing more on what is not here, instead of what is.
Concurrent
The dragon that so rudely came into this current life is now known as Tsa’kyz Y’lum, but back then this body knew nothing. All it knew was the need to find out more about these dreams, these visions. Focusing more on the dreams themselves and keeping a journal of what happened, a pattern started to form. These weren’t just dreams, these were days and sometimes even weeks that were chronologically being experienced. And during those moments at night, the gaps between the dreams were being remembered in detail as well. A few weeks passed while recording it all and even memories from before the awakening started to come back and linger.
Dreams were no longer enough, there had to be more. Diving deeper in the possibilities and asking for advice in the community, meditation and even astral travel became the tools of trade. And as it turns out, those were the keys to unlock a portal that was always there for this mind. Astral travel became an obsession in order to find out everything about Tsa’kyz Y’lum. Hobbies and school on Earth did not matter because why be human and live as one, if you can reach out to a world beyond this one and be a dragon? The more time spend in the astral, the stronger the connection between our minds became. Tsa’kyz Y’lum’s life got referred to as ‘The Other World’ for a lack of a better name and reaching out felt as natural as opening a door on Earth.
Fast forward a few years of astral traveling and journaling and that’s when the term ‘concurrent life’ got known: Tsa’kyz Y’lum is living a life, somewhere on a planet in this universe, at the same time this body is. And not just that, but also at the same rate of time, as a twin growing up separate. And through means unknown to current science, a connection had been established between these lives, allowing for the transfer of memories.
The complete life of Tsa’kyz Y’lum can be read here.
Split
This split of life but not of soul happened, to my own belief, at the birth of both this human body and Tsa’kyz Y’lum’s draconic body, hence also the suspected matching rate of time. The splitting itself is a natural thing, but the connection between lives should not exist afterwards. As a small piece of the core soul breaks off, it can start a new life. The core can choose to also start a life, or remain dormant. As these shards form in new bodies they create lives of their own and grow as a soul. This continues until another piece breaks off to form a new soul and thus a new life to grow.
And as such, the odd thing is that the connection that normally gets severed as two lives continue down their own path, did not happen. In this case it’s to be believed that the shard did break off, but not willingly. Another theory is that this human life was never meant to be, never meant to exist. The shard was meant to end up as Tsa’kyz Y’lum and the core, which is Akir’Ischa in this case, maybe had chosen to remain dormant. This is something known as a split-soul in the Otherkin community.
This brings us to the moment that Akir’Ischa caused a second awakening to this body. First as a shadow in the corner of this mind, but the persistence and the increasing flashes of a black dragoness kept increasing, eventually forcing its way in and grabbing all attention. Through some very powerful dreams and eventually meditating on them, it had come that us is actually she. The soul that inhibits this body wasn’t Tsa’kyz Y’lum, nor human. It is Akir’Ischa and because her longest, but not most recent, past life was that of a dragon, the soul still identifies as such.
As that realization sunk in and more got revealed, Akir’Ischa became stronger and more prominent in this life. Her mind entwining with this mind that was still torn between human life and Tsa’kyz Y’lum. Her presence gave me many things to work through and many new memories from a past life. A new journal was started, one that eventually resulted in The Chronicles, The Obsidian Book and by discovering my most recent past life I started to take notes of The Shapeshifter.
By accepting myself, I also had to accept that I had to let go of Tsa’kyz Y’lum. Akir’Ischa deteriorated the connection to Tsa’kyz Y’lum to the point that this body could no longer bridge the passage to ‘The Other World’ and the connection to Tsa’kyz Y’lum was lost. Or maybe he got freed from the spirit that kept entering his mind. Maybe Tsa’kyz Y’lum was humankin, because there was a human teenager keeping a connection for nearly a decade. And although I have my doubts that I will ever hear or see from Tsa’kyz Y’lum again, I am grateful for the years of knowledge, experience, hardships, euphoric moments and many other memories I endured through him. He might be gone for me, but I will never forget the one who was my first awakening.
Zwartice
And thus, with this information, we end up at the names:
The Dyad Dragon.
Dyad: something that consists of two parts.
So in this case the dragon that consists of 2 parts. It’s a nod to the soul itself and the link I have with Akir’Ischa and had with Tsa’kyz Y’lum.
Soulular Duality.
Duality: The state of combining two different things.
Meaning there’s two different sides to this soul, as I have experienced both the shard and the core. The male and the female.
Zwartice.
This has no meaning, but it’s a nod to both Akir’Ischa and Tsa’kyz Y’lum through a combination of two words in two different languages. Because it’s such a unique word and it has a nice ring to it, I decided to use it instead of the above options.
You see that they all have the same meaning at their base, but use different words to highlight different parts of my inner being.
To wrap up this chapter, there’s one last thing:
I never asked for this. I never wanted to awaken as a dragon in this life. Before it happened, I didn’t feel draconic at all. But after a multitude of decades, I’m glad it happened. Yes, there have been downsides. The yearning, the pain of wanting a different body, but I’ve found the good in this as well. I found others like me. I’ve connected with them, formed friendships and relationships. I’ve gained new insights and ways of seeing the world, and for that, I’m grateful.
I know my journey will have its pauses, and I shouldn’t be afraid of those moments when it feels like nothing is happening. I’ve been lucky with the memories I’ve been given and the knowledge I’ve gained about my concurrent and past lives. My spiritual journey will continue when it’s meant to. I have faith in myself to discover what I need to navigate this life, balancing my time here on Earth with memories of my past (and concurrent) life.
There’s no need to be afraid or constantly question myself. I’ve done plenty of that already and will continue to do so when necessary.